Two Little Awakenings - 2005 re-release Lyrics
Masterlist of Lyrics
© Steve Unruh
Scenes from the Mirror
Two Little Awakenings
From the Flowered Chair
Masterlist of Lyrics T.L.A. page
Scenes from the Mirror Ė 17:11 Ten a.m., the baby starts crying Little hands reaching out for the one not there Mother tells herself she canít hear him One year old, the lessons begin 10:05, the baby stops crying Little hands giving up, thereís no one there Mother doesnít let herself get too near him Five years old in first grade He can see the lines, he can draw the lines Teacher looks down, tells him ďjust five minutes more, youíll have it fineĒ Five years and five minutes more he sees that he cannot draw the lines Throwing down the crayon, ďI canít do this and itís not worth the time!Ē Every minute learning his new limitations, failed imitations ďWhat more canít I do today, what more canít I do today?Ē Every minute running up against the expectations Hey, where are you going Jessie, Just who do you think you are? Jessie wanders home, not in a hurry Stopping on the sidewalk picking acorns from the grass Watching all the other kids in newer-model autos pass Every minute learning his new limitations, failed imitations ďWhat more canít I do today, what more canít I do today?Ē Every minute running up against the expectations Turning six years old to the soundtrack of closing doors Turning six years old to find heís drawn the losing score Turning six years old to find thereís really nothing waiting for him Nine years ago you had hope in your life Nine years ago you had hope in your living Nine years ago you were brought in this world, now youíre kicking and screaming But nine years ago you had hope in your life Nine years ago there was no one there stealing Taking away your new baseball and glove Nine years ago there was no one to make you so angry youíd hit them And nine years ago you would not have shed blood But this is the world you live in and this is realityís pain This is the way you must fight off the ones who would slander your name This is the battle youíre thrown into, this is the burning inside This is the cost of the concrete and this is the warriorís pride Nine years ago you had hope in your life Nine years ago you had hope in your living Nine years ago you were brought in this world, now youíre kicking and screaming Nine years ago there was hope in your life Nine years ago there was hope in your life Nine years ago you had hope in your life... Walking the streets in the morning Sixteen, and ďI just donít careĒ Trying to survive, staying sane as a dropout in a life that ďjust ainít goiní nowhereĒ ďDonít talk about my tomorrow, just let me make it through today ďI donít have nothing but sorrow and a future ďthat is sliding ever farther awayĒ Fading, fading, into the background shading Waiting, waiting, where did it all go wrong? Now twenty-one and searching, searching for consolation and interpretation of life is strife and never an ending and out on the corner is dreamland, sleep and peaches and cream and itís only meanial cash to hash the world awake for a while All alone in dreamland On the sofa dreamland Linger here in dreamland Three more years in dreamland Twenty-four in dreamland Life is over, dreamland... In the mirror he stares at himself through the haze Eyes that have witnessed a life go to waste Thoughts drifting back into younger days He dreams of scenes from his childhood and says ďhow little it takes...Ē For all of life to go a different way One note in the chord can change minor to major The place where you land or your destinyís day Comes down to the tiniest steps that you take Drifting back in dreamland Shifting sand in dreamland Happy ending, dreamland In beginning, dreamland... Now twenty-one and searching, searching for consolation and interpretation is life spent fighting never an ending but out on the corner is dreamland, sleep, no peaches and cream and I have the only control to hold the world at bay for a while Walking the halls in the morning, sixteen and striving to care Trying to survive, staying sane in this ghetto in a life he is taking somewhere ďThink about my tomorrow, donít talk about my today ďI donít have anything but sorrow in my future unless I can ďfind a better way.Ē Pain is fading into the background shading Waiting, waiting, someday will I belong?... Nine years ago there was hope in your life Nine years ago there was hope in your living Nine years ago you were brought in this world, you were kicking and screaming But nine years ago there was hope in your life Nine years ago there was no one there stealing Taking away your new baseball and glove Nine years ago there was no one to make you so angry But maybe today you will learn how to rise above This is the world you live in and this is the way to belief This is the courage you gather to go to the house of the thief This is the battle youíve chosen and this is the way it will end This is way the door opens when enemy turns into friend Nine years ago you had hope in your life Nine years ago you had hope in your living Nine years ago you were brought in this world, you were kicking and screaming, but Nine years ago there was hope in your life Five years old, in first grade he can see the lines he can draw the lines Teacher looks up, tells him ďJust five minutes more youíll have it fineĒ Five years and five minutes more he sees that he cannot draw the lines Clenching to the crayon, ďI can do this I just need more timeĒ Every minute starting out with childhood faith and dedication ďWhat more can I do today, what more can I do today?Ē Every minute setting up his own new expectations Hey, where are you going Jessie, Just who do you think you are? Jessie wanders home not in a hurry Stopping on the sidewalk, picking acorns from the street Plants them in the front yard, whispers ďone day you might be a treeĒ Every minute starting up with childhood faith and dedication ďWhat more could I do today, what more can I do today?Ē Every minute setting up his own new expectation Ten a.m., the baby stops crying Little hands reaching skyward for the one not there Mother tells him, ďI can hear youĒ 10:05, he feels her near him Little hands reaching up to find her there 10:05, the baby stops crying Back to top World, Awake - 7:00 In the world today there are people to hate the color of your skin the color of your eyes or maybe your shoe size The language you speak the company you keep your accent, your earring your badge, your rhymes And for being so observant many people are so blind And thatís just the way it is. Is that just they way it is? Or just the way itís always been? Well thatís how itís always been. Is that just the way itís been? Or how we just allowed it to be? This world has never been kind, but it could be. Well out on the street I observe a man who sees things from the opposite side He walks alone unshaven in a 70ís shirt and heís humming a tune from the Beatles or the Byrds or something about a colorful freedom upon sparrowís wings You can almost see the imagined guitar that heís strumming While out on the street heís observed by a man who sees things from the opposite side He walks along clean-shaven in a button-down shirt and heís stunning Or at least he would be if he wasnít in a crowd of hundreds of look-alikes as a bus growls loudly by A black cloud left behind to remind me of whatís coming... Another day of the same routine With people like object only seen, marked and shelved in each othersí memories So out on the street I observe a man, a few sidekicks and big picket signs He knows of Godís judgement on man, and heís here to tell us While on the small screen I observe a man who had seen things from the opposite side The rest of the story at 5, but first some items to sell us Millions of shimmering wires all interconnected to a numb generation of thousands of look-alikes buying into the system Millions of flickering fires, all doused by the downpour of deafening droning Deliberately dictating disinformation... whatever. Another day of in-between And people are only sometimes keen enough to rise above their personal history But at the dayís end, when the sidewalks have thinned and the evening lightís dimming Weíre left weary on the trails weíve blazed We donít have the energy to form reconstructions or fight the destruction of passing days Lost in a haze, a meaningless gaze Turning away from such better ways So some people hate the color of your skin the color of your eyes, or maybe your shoe size The language you speak, the company you keep your accent, your earring your badge, your rhymes A million observations, yet we never see the signs And thatís just the way it is, yeah thatís just the way it is And thatís the way itís always been Thatís how itís always been, and thatís how itís always been because we just allowed it to be. This world still isnít kind... But it could be. Well, out on the street I observe a girl selling flowers to pay for her school Sheís trying to learn how to rise from the rut she was born in While out on the street sheís observed by a man who sees her from the opposite side He crosses and smiles, puts a skip in the shoes that heís worn in Well, out on the street we observe a hundred exceptions to rules every day While somehow we still cling to coloring in by number If only these streets would awake to the bleeding of thousands of hues and the blurring detail and a colorful life greeting us from our slumber A million faces never seen A million friends that have never been and a mindset that is finally clear and clean ...in a world awake. Back to top Two Little AwakeningsĖ 17:53 The hand reaches out, grasping at familiarity Gently brushed away Back to a familiar side, not the one he was hoping for But then, he might be used to this by now Maybe, he thinks, he should finally give in to reality That things are only what they seem Was I crazy to be asking? Was I crazy to believe? Was I crazy thinking there was something more than what Iíd seen? Was it knowledge I was missing? Is it stolen from the tree? Is it hollow in beginning? Is it really only me? Wide awake, Iím not dreaming. Iím not seeing things the same way anymore. On the ground firmly planted Iím not letting thoughts go drifting from this shore. Today I begin to open my eyes Today I will find what I must realize Today I will live based in this life Today I will separate truth from lie And if what I have been telling myself gets shattered from within I must learn to clear my mind and start again And if what I was believing has been holding me so high I must willfully come falling from the sky Wide awake, Iím not dreaming. Iím not seeing things the same way anymore. On the ground, firmly planted. Iím not letting thoughts go drifting from this shore Iíll try to hold it in Iíll try to hold it in But you, of all people, should understand me. After all, you were there when I hit this stage And you, of all people to gently brush my hand away... This love should be handled like a flower, like it was the only thing that mattered in the world And here we toss it about like weíre playing a competitive game Nothing new to this world weíre bringing Nothing new to the annals of singing Just another solo flight someoneís winging, spinning along You ask for a reason I cannot say, it probably falls under the realm of psychology And I donít know that much psychology I only know me, and a little bit of you And it might not be enough to get me through The day I begin to open my eyes The day I will find what I must realize The day I will live based in this life The day I might find itís all a lie I try to hold it in, but Iím still left wanting I try to hold it in, but the tears keep running I try to hold it in, but the pain keeps coming I try to hold it in, but it just wonít let me go (Why did you let me go?) Well maybe I am not so smart after all After all, I thought this love was gonna save me And maybe I find I am not saved after all, and it was just a happy ending for a while Silly me, silly me. I am not at all where I thought I would be And maybe this love is not the greatest of all, after all its signs to unmarked destinations And maybe to find a rest or to find your true calling in the end itís just a path you go alone Deliver me, deliver me, I am not at all where Iím supposed to be So the moment you rest is the moment you fall the moment your pride hits ten feet tall The moment you see is the moment youíre blind the moment you find youíve no more time The moment you leave, the moment you... Stop! Iíll have no part of this. The hand reaches in, grasping at familiarity that canít be brushed away Was I crazy to be asking? Was I crazy to believe? Was I crazy thinking there was something more than what Iíd seen? Is it knowledge I was missing? Is it really only me? Yesterdayís end, a mind full of lies Gone with the wind, just memory behind Yesterdayís end, tomorrow disguised The turning away of an angelís eyes This love should be handled like a flower like it was the only thing that mattered in the world And here we sit as if itís already lost and weíre denying the pain Nothing into the light weíre bringing nothing new to the annals of singing Just another blinded flight Iíve been winging, spinning along You ask for a reason I cannot say it probably falls within the realm of psychology And I donít know that much psychology What about me? What about you? What about me? What about you? And I canít believe this conversationís through Please donít hold it in if youíre still left wanting Please donít hold it in if the tears keep running Please donít hold it in if the pain keeps coming Please donít hold it in... please donít let me go... ... Finally tired, exasperated, he closes his eyes and turns away Raspy voice ended its plea In the hollow of the silence In the blackness of the calm He hears an angel start to speak A hand reaches out, grasping at familiarity that it had brushed away Back to his side, a single tear... and the words begin ďSorry my love, sorry for silence ďIím sorry it had to go this way ďYou see, Iíve been searching, searching this world ďTo justify giving my life away... ďand I think I just found something to say: ďToday I began to open my eyes to the touch of your hand ďand I realized the farther I ran the further disguised, ďit seems to turn into a lie ďThe world offered no answers, the world offered no truth ďMy heart offered feelings, but my mind wanted proof ďWith no proof delivered the world said I was wrong ďIt said Iíd been stringing myself along ďBut in your song I find balance, and in your soul I find rest ďAnd in your eyes is the mirror where I see myself best ďAnd in your hands is an answer, and in your heart I can feel ďAnd I finally decided what I see as real ďToday I begin to open my eyes to the touch of your hand ďAnd I realized the farther I ran, the further disguised ďI will not turn into a lie ďAnd if what I have been telling myself gets shattered from within ďI must learn to clear my mind and start again ďAnd if what I have been seeing has been causing us to die we must ďwillfully walk on closing our eyes Wide awake and dreaming, and not seeing things the same way anymore Off the ground, firmly planted, Iím not letting thoughts go drifting from this shore Anymore. Hands reaching out grasping at familiarity that wonít be brushed away Back to familiar sides, the ones they were hoping for They can get used to this now Maybe, he thinks, this is reality... Awaken to a dream Back to top From the Flowered Chair - 4:43 I don't think we read enough short stories I don't think we play enough pretend I think we might spend too much time thinking and wondering how it all might end I want to believe that we're all on a journey a reason that life's worth living for I want to have something too good to be true to come through to believe in I want to believe in something more And I would run, I would crawl, I would stand until I fall if I only had a cause that I could care And I would laugh, I would cry, I would sing until I die but tonight I'll just keep waiting in this chair. I think I might go to Sunday service and not even ask about their creed Just look up at all the pretty arches and see all the people on their knees The beautiful singing, oh, and the order and everyone thinking about their soul And maybe this time they're truly caring and nobody's hungry for control But if I would act right now my feet would spin while I stay standing still Even worse I might be looking like a fool (well) Years ago momentum carried me until the laws and gravity began to pull me down, and now I'm just hanging around... So I think it's okay for a day to stop learning I think that some ignorance is fine I think it's alright to sometimes skip the evening news and not hear a single word on crime With all of a lifetime spent in spinning along on the edge of a slippery slope The only thing between me and falling is slight possibility of hope Back to top Resolution - 31:13 I The light goes on as any ordinary day, put on my armor Sing along with any radio song, Iím on my way Another day anew, the morning dew sticks to my shoe The colors fade from a six oíclock sunrise as Iím sipping last nightís coffee down the highway to another day gone But Iím alright, living just this side of normal I suppose that this is what the average man feels No lows, no highs (set aside from Mondayís weekend) I suppose that I should learn to be content with all the comfort that surrounds Nothing magic, nothing tragic, coast along... the day is peaceful Iím no hero, no discoverer of truths, but thatís okay In my childhood they said I would be so special, I had promise But growing older makes you fade into the shadows of the next sure thing But Iím alright, living just this side of normal I suppose that this is what the average man feels No lows, no highs (set aside from Mondayís weekend) I suppose that I should learn to be content with all the comfort that surrounds And so began the beginning, the day my world crashed down No fireworks, no fanfare, just a hunch I could not drown And when I drove right past my exit, and I kept on headed south Iíd say about ten years of things Iíd kept inside started pouring out Hey all you little people on your way to find your dreams, better hurry lest your destinies pass by! Never stop to wonder what your daily lives could mean, itís after all not who you are but what you buy It seems that our legalities and even our moralities are still based primarily on public opinion that can shift like grains of sand in the desert wind and in the end weíre left with no truth in our outstretched empty hands But lots of dust in our eyes But up ahead I see the highway, and up ahead I see the road Taking me to freedom, lifting off my heavy load Iím free, Iíll be free of that life Iíve regained the drive Are we free, are we free in this life? Breathe, gain the drive So what about the need for a deeper meaning? And what were we hoping for? What about the melodies that linger from old folklore? What about the promise of progress and all the old stories they told? What about who I would become, then, when I would grow old? Lights are flashing, day comes crashing down to end my sentience As Iím stopped by blue and white itís 10 a.m. and back to night ďSon, where are you headed in this hurry?Ē ďSir, just out of here.Ē ďSon, I have to check if you are drunk.Ē Then suddenly I realized the state I was in was one I could not hope to overthrow And after all experience the only fruit Iíd found was some sureness in the place I could not go Sureness of the place I could not go Just where do I think Iím going? Where have I really gone? A quarter-century, and yet Iím not sure right from wrong... And maybe all these people who donít seem so little anymore, Maybe they know something I donít And maybe they feign ignorance as their way to survive And maybe now I wonít Is the end the beginning? The breakthrough breaks you down Is happiness forever lost with knowledge found? Who should be my hero now that I admit Iím lost? Truth come forward, I am begging you I can hear the voices but their words are too obscure Leaving me unsure what I should do Prophets on the radio, I always wanted to join you I thought in you Iíd find my true home Until I tried to reach you and I found but a facade Utopia this world has never known I am not the optimistic boy I used to be Friends say I look different without a smile Iím not sure just who to blame - human nature, you, or my ignorance But donít you tell me not to touch that dial What have you to tell me that weíre not already shown? Why this mass attention to your thoughts? Well do you really claim that you have found some new idea that Jesus, Ghandhi, Martin Luther King had not? Well all we need to know weíve ignored for years And somehow some keep hope (mine has disappeared) This is my fear - most will never change until a threat upon their lives ďHow this generation always seeks a signĒ was said by someone wise ...who they killed two thousand years ago And somehow this world keeps moving on Cars blur rushing by my window Nightfall approaches A coldness stings my skin II Iíll turn around the car, if nothing more Start back toward the safety of my bedroom - The only thing Iím sure of now. With the only cause left for me tonight as to soothe my aching head So now I begin my slow descent into madness As I see my life will never align with the ways of society Knowing that Iíve limited this lifespan By giving up the ways of this world Well some would call this ďburning the candle at both endsĒ Iíll just call it ďdropping it into the fireĒ Spend my nights with broken delusions and alcohol And if I die before I wake, who cares. I step outside, the airís so thick with mis-information I almost feel Iím swimming in gel And those who try to see beyond all this to a meaning are left with saddened faces, empty shelves Hey all these modern pressures they say turn off your brain but now it has become my fate to see whether it is nobler to suffer things and harrows or by opposing die in futility Well what am I to do, what am I to be, how am I supposed to calm these feelings? Where am I to go, what else is there to know? My mind is reeling What am I to try, what am I to buy, how is it supposed to seem appealing When nothing here even seems real? They steal away your consciousness, ability to think And push you all around until youíre standing on the brink of a breakdown, I takedown each moment in lies Compile my thoughts on the page (into rage) And as I contemplate my recklessness The way Iíve wasted countless years My soul cries a song of sadness A lullaby, a sweet farewell to childhood A little moment changes everything Yet most of the time you donít realize Ďtil itís over Yet as the hours pass by one by one itís still in the front of your mind Such a simple little statement, ďTry to be the one that youíd respectĒ Yet somehow its weight escaped me ...until now And now like a floodgate open wide I see whatís been missing deep inside I have been needing integrity of soul The one thing thatís left in this world that I still control Well Iíve been so quick to give in to the ways of this prescribed life To go through the motions and die with indifference And itís so easy to turn off your brain And turn on the prophets who say ďjust add waterĒ but Hey, this is not what lifeís about! And this is not what it could be And even if I cannot change the world At least I can still set my own soul free III All of me in Resolution Try to see beyond confusion Step to moving on All of me is led by heart And all of will be no part of everything thatís wrong I wait, I see, everything will becoming clearer now I wake, open eyes I see meaning, everything is only whatís inside of me And so I clear my mind Apology for yesterday, I was to weak in will to call But Iíll be alright now In the end of beginning Rebuild the broken down With hopefulness forever gained in what Iíve found I am not the optimistic boy I used to be But nor am I an old man filled with hate Iím not sure just who to be but at least gone is ignorance And now it all comes down to hope and faith Prophets (profits) on the radio no longer hold appeal The mediaís devolved to sordid screams That only serve as detours from the real and true ideal Like what ďabundant lifeĒ might come to mean Well all I need to know Iíve ignored for years Somehow now keep hope from disappea- ring in my ears is the wake up call thatís been sounding all along- the wall is the message (board) ďboredom kills the mind or saves us all... Depending on whatís in the soul.Ē And somehow Iíll keep moving on Every day this battle Morning approaches Innocence again I turn the key, the car begins to roll Onward toward the new and the familiar I start the breaking day in Resolution Here I go, again, for the first time The light goes on as any ordinary day, put on my armor Sing along with any radio song, Iím on my way Another day anew, the morning dew sticks to my shoe The colors fade from a six oíclock sunrise And Iím sipping on philosophy and down the road ahead of me is dawn And Iím alright, living just this side of normal I suppose that this is what the average man feels No lows, no highs, set aside from Mondayís weekend I suppose that I could learn to be content with all the comfort that Iíve found I have spent too many days walking through this darkness Waiting for a change to bring me light Now Iíve seen what hope can do, and yet Iím hopeful anyway Innocence will bring me back to life This is not about the world, this is personal Itís about the way Iím handling this life I wonít wait for change to happen, I wonít wait for bile to warm me I will fan the fire of living, I will not grow cold conforming I will try to tread more lightly on the people Iím around I will try to push on forward even if some beat me down I will live as one triumphant or Iíll die without regret I will wake up new and breathe the life I havenít started yet Singing in the melody always there before me Finding strength to carry on once more When hate is gone the soul will shine Iím hoping in its glow weíll find a long-lost open door Someday we may live as one in this Resolution Until that day Iíll try to live life pure When hate is gone the soul will shine Hereís hoping in its glow weíll find a long-lost open door Hereís to the long-lost open door. Back to top Back to T.L.A. page Back to Steve Unruh Home Special thanks to Christopher Frick for the transcript.